Dear Penelope ( a letter to you about your great grandmother)

Dear Penelope,

You were born too late to ever get to know your great-granny. Her name was Jemima Macdonald. With a name like that, you had to have a sense of humor. See, she was born in Scotland, and was named after an auntie, and it's not the name of breakfast syrup. She was born Jemima Cambridge, with humble beginings. She used to tell me about her father, and how wonderful he was. Once there was a dance recital, and she needed new shoes, and even though they couldn't afford it, her father suprised her with them.

She had stories like you couldn't believe. But what made the stories so spectacular, was her storytelling. She was in the story, and brought you with her. You saw the hills of Scotland, the castle she lived in during the war, you heard the bombs, you tasted the toast that she burnt when cooking breakfast for the headmaster, you listened to the guitar her father played. I went on so many adventures with your great-granny, and we never even left the room.

Her greatest accomplishments, started when she met Peter, your great grandfather. She worked in a factory, cleaning telephone parts, and in walked Peter. They met, they courted, they fell in love. Things weren't always easy, but they married, they honeymooned, and they came to America. On a ship, brought nothing but blankets and woolen sweaters.

They arrived in America in the spring and lived with her Aunt and uncle in a wee apartment in what is now Hells Kitchen. Below them, a grocer, whom one time confused her asking for a bar of soap with a can of soup. That is one thing about your great-granny, she never lost her accent. I think that's what I miss, so seldom do you hear an authentic Scottish accent.

They eventually started settling down, moved to New Jersey, and started their family. First came wee Keith, whom you never had the devine pleasure of knowing as well. Then came your grandpa, Craig. There was Laurie and Grant, the house in Old Bridge, and her job in the nursery school. Even in her senior years, she still kept gifts from the kids she once sang songs and read stories to.

She was blessed with five grandkids, Leanne, Brian, Chris, Ian, and your mommy. We have all been raised by granny. We all know about the faries in the mushrooms, wee willy winkie, and slept in the green bedroom. She made us all pancakes, mince and tatties, barley soup, pistachio cake. She used to whip cream by hand. Her house was immaculate. We sat on the living room floor playing dominoes or shops, and she always lost because of her excitement.

She had a closet full of things she didn't wear. As kids, your mommy, uncle, and their cousins played dress up, put on performances, and wrecked the house. We hunted easter eggs until we were 30. She always, always gave us cards full of money.

She swam, bowled, and did aerobics. She walked, and made us all walk with her. She loved shopping, and cooking, and holidays. She loved children the most, and when you were born, she held you for "oowers" (hours). She loved her great grandchildren, Charlie, and Evangeline, and you my darling.

She was all of 4'11", with a poof of orange hair and a peacock call you could here for miles. I can still see her hands. Her wedding ring, the wrinkles, a ring from Keith. I can smell the turnips on the stove. I can hear her singing christmas carols, and reading "Who Lives On The Farm" before making me do my prayers and go to bed. I guess even though shes left us, she's still taking me with her, on her adventures.

I wish you could have known her, Penelope. I wish you could have seen her after a glass of champagne on New Years Eve, whilst belting out a traditional rendition of Auld Lang Syne. Which would immediately be followed up with the history of how that's a Scottish tune and us Americans took it.

But the words of the song translate into something so beautiful, and poignant: times long past.

I'm happy to know that one day you'll come to me, with a family tree school project, and I can tell you all 'aboot' her. Your great-granny, Mima.

With Love,

Mommy

9 months in, 9 months out, expectations vs. reality

So I've had a baby for 9 months. Did it go by fast? Sorta. Definitely faster than my pregnancy! Nine months later, here is what we are up to, and what I've learned.

1. I've wasted entirely to much money on clothes and toys. Sure it's fine to spoil your first child, and buy every toy in the shop, but it's so pointless. Necessities when it comes to clothing, and nothing too expensive. I see some of these instababies being modeled by their adorning moms with a nicer wardrobe than any adult I know. Why?! Babies really don't give a shit what they are wearing, ever. Actually, I'm pretty sure they hate clothes. Additionally, they grow out of them , and unless you plan on having another child, within a timely fashion, around the same exact time that your current child was born, it's getting donated. And the toys, my god. 2 or 3 core toys, and maybe 5 or 6 additional little things. Penelope's favorite toys are not toys at all: water bottles, boxes, remote controls, random things from the pantry. I spend too much time picking up little squeaky things off the floor and underneath the sofa. Could have saved a small fortune.

2. I have the most adorable baby in the world, and, your kid is pretty cute too. When I was childless, I could say with ease: that kid is not cute. I could probably still say it, but now I see the beauty in all children. It's weird.

3. I wish I was a stay at home mom, but I'm glad I'm not. Ugh. I would love, more than anything, to stay at home and play with Penny, make art, read books, go hiking, cook.. but in all actuality, I would get nothing done. She's more demanding than I could have imagined and she's not fond of waiting. She also doesn't help out with any chores around the house. The nerve. Besides, I get paid to work, am able to socialize with adults, and get 1 whole hour to eat lunch, or go shopping, or take a nap in my car. I get exactly 0 hours to do that when I'm home with her. But maybe one day, I can still dream.

4. I will never look the same. I have lost and gained weight 10 thousand times since she was born. Everything is a little softer, or wider, or different. But that is ok. I have a loving husband who lies to me about how I look, and I have a gorgeous daughter who will be rich and pay for her mommas plastic surgery one day.

5. I do everything I said I would never do, so I'm sorry. I post a gazillion pictures of her, everyday. I co sleep. I don't let her cry. I just do what's best for us. And that is something I wish I understood more before I became a mom. I think we all need to take a step back from the mommy wars, and worry more about what is going on in our own families, and less about others. Some kids will have a pacifier until they are 5. Some kids will sleep with their parents. Some will be late in potty training. It's ok. As long as they thrive, and grow, and learn, and laugh, you are doing it right.

I feel like a new person. I put her first, and I dont mind. I cry more than ever now, almost enough for the both of us. I cry because she's beautiful, because I love her. I cry when I read or hear bad news because it makes me sad, and sad that this is the world my perfect angel has to live in. I was tough once. Those days are gone. But that's ok.

Penny has 8 teeth. She loves all of her family. She loves kids, and animals, and being outside. She loves looking out the window. She says mama, dada, and hi. She waves, and points, and claps. She crawls, climbs, and is conquering the stairs. She doesn't always sleep through the night. She loves cinnamon in her bananas, sweet potatoes, and squash. She eats everything, we give her. She is the biggest snuggler, and loves to cozy up to daddy in bed. She loves to be chased and tickled. She is just so friendly, happy, and free.

We have 3 more months until Penny is 1 and 3 more monthly photo shoots. I love watching her grow, and learn. It's like the whole world opening up in front of her, and I get to come along for the ride. Happy 9 months my sweet baby, we love you very much.

NCL Sky, Day 3 and Going Home

Blogging this vacation took me much longer than expected, and thanks for reading along with me! When I was away, I would journal as much as I could. Once we were back home, and real life kicked in, there was no time to blog. But this is the end, I swear! I want to move on to other things, like whats going on with our house, party planning, and holidays! So without further ado...

Last day waking up in paradise! I can't explain that feeling, waking up in a dark, cramped cabin, and emerging outside, surrounded by turquoise waters, rolling lava rock mountains, warm Caribbean air.  We were anchored, not docked, so we would have to take a tender boat to shore. No problem, done it a million times before. More on that later.

We went and had some breakfast, and heard the announcement that we were cleared to disembark and board the tenders to head to shore.. Unfortunately, everyone had the same plan. So the 4 of us, a baby, and a stroller had to wait in line, for about 4 decks. However, it moved quickly as the tenders held a lot of people.

The waters were the roughest I've ever seen them when tendering. I have heard things about this island, and wasn't all that suprised, but it was definately wild. I find safety in the crew. Much like an airplane, you hit some turbulance. No need to panic unless the crew does. They looked unfazed, and honestly, if it were dangerous, they wouldnt let us board. So we made it, a wavy, sea sick worthy journey, but we made it, and it was worth it.

Great Stirrup Cay is Norwegian's private island, shared with Royal Caribbean's private island. It is pretty basic, cabana's, chairs, bathrooms, not much else. It's not inhabbeted. We were late to the party (thanks to the tender back up) and lost a lot of the shady seats. But, there was the Biccardi Bar, where we found lounge chairs, with umbrellas. We had to walk a tiny bit for water, but really it was kind of private. We had some beers, daqueri's, and relaxed. There was a family feeding the fish in the water with some bread they took off the ship, and while it was cool to see the fish so close up, this is a big no-no and I'm very much against that. Ignorance, its rampant on vacation.

Chris and Melissa went back the ship early to pack and watch kick off. Football Sundays, not even the Bahamas could keep Chris away. Lou and I, and miss Penny the fish, stayed on the island for more swimming and lunch. After lunch, we skipped shopping and decided we'd be better off after a shower and a nap. We finished our night with dinner and packing, as tomorrow its time to go home.

We woke up, and got right off the ship. We had to pack all of us, and our luggage, into a taxi to go pick up our rental car. This is when the reality of going home sinks in. We waited what felt like forever for our rental car. Drove to Ft. Lauderdale Intl Airport, dropped off the car. Then took a shuttle from the car rental drop off to the main terminal. Then checked in our luggage and went through security. Then we waited, waited, and waited. We were 4 hours early. We had lunch at Steak and Shake. And went back to waiting. We finally got on the plane around 2. Penny didn't nap the whole way back, but was still a doll. After the flight, my sister and brother in law picked us up, and we were back at mom and dad's by 6. She made us dinner, but I think it was really just to spend time with Penny.

By the time we made it home, we were exhausted, but I had to get us unpacked, and get that laundry done.

It was a busy trip; their were planes, cars, vans, buses, boats, shuttles, 3 airports, 2 cities, 2 islands, 2 countries, and a million memories. Why did I take such a long, busy vacation with an 8 month old? This will probably be the easiest trip we will ever take with her. She can't walk, or run away from us. She can't beg for junky souveniers when we go into shops. She eats whatever we give her. She naps in a stroller. And most of all, shes only her. One day there will be another baby, so of course, a little more complex. I loved getting to show her new things, and although she can't remember, she will see the pictures. Besides, this vacation was for us, as a family, and these are memories we can cherish forever.

NCL Sky, Day 2

We're cruising now! We woke up in Nassau this morning. We slept a little later than expected, but we take it when we can get it; a teething 8 month old doesn't equal restful sleep. We met up with Chris and Melissa for breakfast in the buffet. We had fruit, eggs, muffins, french toast and bacon. Then we went down to disembark.

We had no set excursion set for this cruise. We could have done Atlantis, but it would have been a bust for me since Penny wouldn't be able to participate in much, Lou doesn't do rides, Melissa had already been there, and Chris was down for anything. Paying over $100 a person to just sit on a beach seemed ridiculous. I did read on Trip Adviser about a little beach, within walking distance, that had a little bar, with little prices. Just what we needed after Disney, fo sho. You do have to walk through merchants and tour guides who harass you a bit, but if you have tough skin, and can say no, you'll be fine.

I would say a mile later, we arrived at the Tiki Bikini Hut. No frills here, but you don't need them, promise. Turqouise water, white sand, a view of Altantis and the ships. It was $45 for 2 chairs, 1 umbrella, and 6 drinks. The sign said "beers" but the six drinks included whatever, a Coconut, a water, a pina colada, whatever! After we stripped down and sunblocked, we jumped right in the warm waters. It was great. It was relaxing. And then the tide picked up suddenly. I though a boat had passed by creating a wake, but not the case. A massive thunderstorm came out of nowhere, with thunder so loud it shook the ground. We huddled under our little umbrella until the lighting became frightening, and decided to make a break for shelter. Luis grabbed Penny, wrapped her up in a towel, and ran, leaving mommy with the stroller and everything else! But Uncle Chris carried the stroller, and I grabbed the clothes and drinks and we hung out in the restroom area waiting for the storm to pass. I think it was about a half an hour, but when it stopped, the heat picked up and we were back in the water.

It was really cool because cruise ships were coming in, and we got to watch them turn around and back into the pier. We saw a Royal Caribbean, and a Carnival. There was a jetty, that you could walk out on, take photos, and although there were signs saying otherwise, jump off of. I did not jump off of anything though.

We decided that we would go back to the ship for lunch. Penny napped on the walk back. After lunch, we went back to the cabin, showered, and napped for hours. It was wonderful.

That night we ate in the dining room with Chris and Melissa. It was nice, but Penny tried pulling off magic tricks by removing the tablecloth a few times. She ate her dinner with us, and her favorite cruise snack, pretzel rolls.

After dinner, we did a little bit of gambling in the casino. Nothing serious, we keep it light on vacation. We closed the night out with some late night snacks aft at the outdoor cafe.